Say Something
by jobecky
Summary: Kensi chooses between Deeks and Jack. A different and sadder ending of the episode "Spoils of War".
1. Chapter 1

It's just a little one-shot to a song called "Say Something" from A Great Big World. It was in my head and I just needed to get it out.  
Even though it's sad I hope you like it.

* * *

He thought he would be happy. He thought he would be happy to see her alive and safe. Kensi. The Kensi he fell in love with and haven't seen her in months. The one girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And no he's home. Alone.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'll be the one, if you want me to  
Anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_

When he heard that they were going to Afghanistan he was scared and angry. Scared that he would never see her again. And angry because it was Hetty who sent her away. Away from him.  
He has done everything there to help is team to get her back. More than he thought he would be capable to do. He tortured a blind man. He tortured a man and the second he did it he remembered what it was like. To sit in a chair and fear of his life. That was the moment where all his strength left him. He kneeled beside the chair, desperately begging for forgiveness even though the man couldn't understand him. That was the moment that he realized he would nearly do everything to get Kensi back.

_And I am feeling so small  
It was over my head  
I know nothing at all_

_And I will stumble and fall_  
_I'm still learning to love_  
_Just starting to crawl_

And then they got her back. He helped and probably saved his whole team but that wasn't important because he would be finally able to see her again. When he walked through the desert with the man in front of him he realized that she was not alone. That he knew the guy next to her. Not personally but from a picture Kensi had showed him one time. Jack. Jack her ex-fiancé who left her alone and broke her heart.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
Anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_

He would fly with them. Of course Jack had to fly with them. The whole time Kensi was sitting beside him as if she was scared that he would disappear any second. She was hugging him, speaking with him and always touching his shoulder or his arm but the worst was that she was ignoring him.  
Even Sam and Callen came to him to ask if everything was alright with him. Of course everything was alright. His partner and almost girlfriend got kidnapped in Afghanistan, he nearly killed an old blind man because he was so desperate to get her back, after that he had a breakdown and now his partner sitting next to her ex-fiancé and is ignoring her. So what should be wrong? And like always he smiled and said he was fine.

_And I will swallow my pride  
You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye_

It were now nearly two weeks. Two weeks the whole team got off to recover and even though that he had left multiple messages and wrote her several sms he'd never got an answer. He was sitting alone at home with Monty talking to him or crying himself to sleep.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
And anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_

He knew that he lost her to Jack the first time he saw her again. The first morning that they had to come back to work and she was driving with him laughing about something he said. He noticed how Sam and Callen looked at him trying to say that they are sorry but at the same time happy to see her smiling again.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
Say something..._

After everyone left he said Hetty that he was going back to the LAPD and put a notice on Kensi's desk.

_Dear Fern,  
it was very nice to meet you but I have to leave.  
I wish you the best and hope you'll be happy.  
Love Max_


	2. Chapter 2

I'm really happy that so many read this story and liked it :)  
So many asked me to write more so I'm going to write another story about what's happening with Deeks and the rest of the team. This reeeally short chapter is just an end for this story and to build up some suspense. I already have some ideas for the following story but it could maybe take some time to write them down. I would love to see you reviews under the next story to.  
Thank you for your support!

* * *

It was already ten am when Callen and Sam began to wonder where Deeks was. It wasn't a reason to worry about him when he was 15min late but two hours were a difference.

"Kensi, do you know where Deeks is?" asked Sam confused.

"What? Why should I know something like this? Am I his nanny?" said Kensi clearly annoyed and not interested in the where about of her partner.

"No but you're his partner! What's up with you? Since your back you didn't spoke one word with him. Has he done something to you? I mean he did save us all when…" Callen started but got interrupted by Kensi. "We were just partners ok?! Nothing more. And maybe I just realized that he isn't the right one for me to work with and spend my time with. And to answer your first question he left a note that he needed to leave that's all I know ok? "

"I have to say that Miss Blye is right when she's saying Mr. Deeks left us." As always Hetty came out of nowhere. "But I have to confess that it's permanently.  
He isn't coming back to us. He put his resignation on my desk last night after I already left and I wasn't able to get in touch with him today. Therefore I called his superior at the LAPD and he confirmed to me that Mr. Deeks asked for an especially deep undercover mission which he started early this morning. We can't be in contact for the next few months without getting him in trouble. I'm very sorry."

"Wait…WHAT THE HELP IS HAPPENING HERE?! Why did Deeks go back to the LAPD? Why didn't he say a word? " Sam coulnd't believe what he just heard.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hanna but I tried anything I could to get in touch in him. And I'm still going to try to get hold on him and try to find anything about his mission without getting him in trouble but it doesn't look good. I know you just lost a member of your team but I hope you're still able to work together because the criminals aren't waiting for you and I need your full attention 'cause we got a case. Again I'm sorry but I'm doing my best."


	3. Update

Hey I just wanted to let you know that I've uploaded two days ago the first chapter of the sequel to 'Say Something'. It's called 'Human' and I would be very happy if you would take a look at it. Also I wanted to thank all of you for your support and your kind reviews and everyone who favored and followed this short story.  
I hope you going to enjoy the sequel too.  
Greetings from Germany


End file.
